The Lord is asking me, “What are you asking for?”
My grandkids were over this summer, and when the Grands are over, we eat dinner. Dinner happens every night, but when the Grands are here, it’s grander type dinners.
All the kids were playing and not at all concerned with the dinner plan. Except Roya. Roya loves food, and gets genuine enjoyment in the whole process of mealtime. For her, dinner isn’t about stopping what she is wanting to do, to be called to the table; she looks forward to it and delights in it.
She came to me early on in the day, with such excitement, and said, “NayNay, what is for dinner?” To which I replied, “What would YOU like Roya?” With so much enthusiasm she said, “ I love spaghetti!”
Not Just Asking, Delighting
From that simple statement the plan was spaghetti, without another thought. We all ate spaghetti. Everyone was fed and satisfied, but Roya was beyond satisfied; she was thrilled. She was overjoyed that she got what she wanted and I was delighted to provide it for her.
This is a picture of how God delights in giving us what we ask for. It’s not that He is holding back until we say the magic word, or ask for the exact right thing, it’s that He loves to give us what we ask for when we delight in Him and ask Him.
Nine verses within two chapters in the Gospel of John tell us to ask, and whatever we ask, will be given to us.
John 14:13 Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.
Sandwiched right in the first run of verses that tell us to ask ask ask, is a verse that says, “I won’t leave you as orphans.”(John 14:18)
Asking Like An Orphan
What does being an orphan have to do with anything? He could have said I won’t leave you alone or I won’t forget about you but he said, he won’t leave us as orphans.
If you understand the thinking of an orphan it makes perfect sense. It is difficult for a child that has experienced being an orphan to embrace asking the right thing to the right people.
Orphans are good at asking. It is part of survival. But once the child is no longer living like an orphan, there is a new way of life, a new way of asking. Jesus emphasizes asking in His name eight times, in two chapters following the orphan statement.
A child that is stuck in “orphan mentality” will ask with the wrong motive to the wrong people. Orphans have no problem asking for what they need from strangers. Asking and even begging is learned behavior to survive. It’s the people close to them that make it hard for them to ask or believe they will help them. The definition of orphan implies that people closest to you, that were meant to take care of you, leave you to figure life out for yourself.
Learning How To Ask
I believe the reason Jesus says to his disciples that whatever they ask in his name will be given that the Father will be glorified. The asking and the giving brings everyone together on the same page in glory and delight.
Then, five verses later in John 14:18 he says he won’t leave them as orphans. He follows up about asking instructions and encouragement eight more times in the next two chapters. He knows how hard it is to go from orphan living to family life. The transitions from relating to others from an orphan way of life to close connected family relationships need help. That is precisely when Jesus says, he is sending help to make this connection. (John 14:15-16)
Asking With Delight
A child that has comes out of orphan living, and has not yet trusted family life, will ask about dinner also. They often pose the question differently though. It’s a question of survival, not a question of delight. The question will be; am I getting dinner tonight, with a tone of, do you even care about me? Even when they live in a family with dinner provided every night, it is hard for them to trust that there will be dinner and there is often no delight, even when the dinner makes it to the table.
The question of dinner ( or any other need) feels scary to the child who has experienced nights of no dinner. It is also frustrating to the adult who thinks; after all the dinners provided, there is no deeper trust or delight in the relationship.
It’s not even about the meal or the stomach, it’s about the heart. A heart that doesn’t trust is not delighted but displeased.
A Heart Issue, Not a Hunger Issue
In my own life, I think about how many times I approach God like an orphan that can’t trust in God’s faithfulness and goodness to provide what I need let alone what I want. I go through seasons with lack of delight and feel like I’m right back in survival mode, where I think I have to beg God and figure it out, and there is no delight in any of it.
It matters who we ask, how we ask and what we ask.
Asking a stranger, like orphans learn to do, might get a crumb tossed our way. Asking our Father, but in a way that implies he probably won’t and He’s probably mad we even asked, takes away the joy of it all. Or if we ask for the wrong thing, that Our Father knows is not good for us, we will still get provision, but it might not be what we asked for, and the delight is missing.
John 16:23-24
23 “In that day you will not ask me anything. Truly I tell you, anything you ask the Father in my name, he will give you. 24 Until now you have asked for nothing in my name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.
If Roya would have come to me and said, “I want cotton candy and grass clippings for dinner,” I would have still fed her. It wouldn’t have been what she asked for, and the whole scenario would have felt very transactional with no delight in the process. I might have given her a pinch of cotton candy for dessert and a salad named Grass Clippings, so she knew I heard her request. We could build from there, learning healthier requests that I could put a big NayNay yes on.
How To Ask
Not asking for what we want, or even answering the question of what we want; with apathy, is an accusation against the person who is providing. It implies that disappointment and dislike for what is provided is sure to happen, so why set everyone up. It would have stung my heart if I had asked Roya what she wanted for dinner and she said, I don’t care because you won’t even give it to me anyway.
These examples are some of the reasons Jesus used the language that He won’t leave us as orphans but will come to us. He wants us to ask him for things as a beloved child, because that is who we are and He is our Faithful Father.
What Is Asking In Jesus Name
Jesus tells us several different ways in a few short chapters to ask Him for what We want. Ask in His name and it is done. Basically, if he would sign his name to the request it is a done deal. Forging Jesus name on the request by throwing out a big, ‘in Jesus name’ and expecting Him to line up with our request, isn’t what He is teaching here. He is telling us how the relationship works. Whatever we ask the Father, and Jesus would sign on, it is done. Everyone on the same page and working together for our good and God’s glory is how this relationship grows.
What are you asking for? Would Jesus sign his name on to that request? If you don’t know, then get to know Him, and you will get to know all that really matters.
