I’m going to share something very special in this space. I have been asking Patrick Brewer, one of our Ugandan sons, to share some of his story, his life, his perspective with me. He has a gift of looking at life and feeling deeply and then putting it into words that i can read and feel it in my heart and gut. Sometimes I feel the gravity of what he shares and it gives me chills or drains the color out of my face. I got his permission to share some of our writing conversations here in this space. I think you will be touched and encouraged and compelled to see the world a little differently.
Dear Patrick Brewer,
To my dear son Patrick Brewer, I want to invite you to write with me to give me a glimpse of what it looks like to come from a very different background and culture, from different sides of the world.
I want to start by asking you to share some of your childhood with me. Share the parts of your childhood that were vital in shaping you as a person and as a man.
Patrick Writes:
Patrick’s Response: From the day we are born, our parents know what is next in the progress of our childhood. From when we sit, crawl , when we touch something and to the time when we start walking. The crowd is always smiling when a new child comes to life. I cannot imagine how it was when I was being brought to this world. They are only stories I have heard of and still hearing. Sometimes stories are told the right way, other times, people add in spices and make them drama. My story is no different from other people’s stories, mine is just a story I have come to life with and still learning to understand.
Growing Up Fatherless
Becoming the man I am right now started from the day I was brought to life. I come from a society where people live close to each other. You can’t spent a second without seeing anyone. Yet, even in this type of setting , I grew up without a father. Everyone deserves a human they call mom. My mom was a beautiful young woman who fall in love with a handsome Fishermen. These are all scenarios I have in my mind, they are imaginations of the important people that were responsible for my existence – above all, God, the father to the fatherless. As you grow to crawl, touch and walk, it’s basic that you have a mom who will change your diapers, a mom who you will cry to and a mother whose clothes you will spoil. I didn’t get a chance to do all this weird things with my mom. What was her story even! She must have a lot to say down there. This is only a life I have grown to hear and live with, from the lens of an old woman now, who I have grown up calling mom. She is a woman who gave up everything and take me as her biological child and decided to do life with me. Growing through all your childhood only to realize one day that the one you call A name isn’t actually what you call them.
My Mom
My biological mom was an Aids patient. She got pregnant for a fisherman but was sent out of her father’s home because it was unacceptable. When you ask about my birthday, it was so hard to tell because that time was told by the direction of the sun and shadows. I have lived with a birthday in my mind because I really wanted to feel human.
Making Up A Birthday To Feel Human
According to the story I had, I imagined my birthday and I set it to that. Which human grows without knowing their birthdate. They say ‘ the most important days of your life are the day you’re born and the day your find out why” . After finding a date for my birthday, I wanted to find a reason why I was born. That made me navigate life in everyway, to find a purpose for my life.
Humble Background
We had a humble background. I had a brother who I grew up knowing and was there for me every step of the way. At an early age, I had to step up and start understanding the way life moves. We started working as early as possible. When things fail in life, you really have to find your way out of life and into it. I didn’t really grow up with a dad to teach me how to fix a bike, I don’t even know how to ride one. I have engaged with many guys of my age and they keep saying, “My dad taught me this, we learnt this when we were here and here with our dad” . We didn’t really grow up with they kind of life but we were determined to move through with courage, strength and God above it all.
