I’m taking a short pause on Patrick’s Voice to speak from the American Mama account of this story.
I was having a running conversation with the Lord this morning and processing a lot of feelings and memories that these writings have stirred up for all who are part of the stories Patrick is beautifully sharing.
In my conversation I was reminded of the scriptures that talk about God’s discipline, for those he loves. We often think of discipline as only punishment, but discipline is also training a behavior, habit, skill, or activity.
Remembering Our Story and Situation
I was remembering our story and our situation that was happening in the same timeline that Patrick and Simon were dealing with life in Uganda, we were having our own experiences on this side. I’m not comparing stories of hunger and oppression with the problems we were facing, but the lesson was the same for both; God’s faithfulness to every nation and every generation.
As I was running my path and memories were running through my mind, I felt the Lord clearly ask me this question, “ What happened to the American version of this story you are telling with Patrick?
I knew EXACTLY what He was talking about. When Patrick and I began to write together it was a Jesus assignment. It was clear and it was impossible in our own understanding, and so we began without knowing what to do with it, or who to share it with. The idea was to write from both our perspectives on what God had done in this story. It was to share the story and delight in how God weaves our stories together in ways that we can never think of, or imagine.
God’s Loving Discipline
When our journey converged with Simon and Patrick’s journey; God was ‘loving’ on us a whole bunch during that time. We were in the middle of a ‘discipline’ phase of our loving relationship with the Father.
Hebrews 12:6 because the Lord disciplines whomever he loves, and he punishes every son or daughter whom he accepts.
We were being disciplined into deep waters. He was loving us into trusting His provision and obeying His voice in all areas, not just when it felt nice or went along with our plan. We were learning the fear of the Lord, we were learning about His faithfulness at a deeper level.
I didn’t feel like God was mad or punishing us, but I definitely felt his discipline and His seriousness about what He was teaching us.
Sharing Another’s Story
I quit writing my role in the journey; I was so taken by Patrick’s writing and his story, that I let myself off the hook to share my part. His is beautiful on its own. It’s always easier to share someone else’s story, than to get vulnerable and honest about our own. The problem is; the obedience piece of this project, on my part. I need to share the part of the story where God was teaching us about His faithfulness through the same story at the same time.
People come home from trips to share about their experiences, but rarely do you get to hear from many perspectives of the same encounter, in the same relationship. The Gospels are a perfect example of the importance and beauty of getting the same story several different ways to grasp the bigger picture and to relate in a personal way.
God wasn’t teaching Simon and Patrick to trust Him and leaving us alone to be the hero of the story. He was doing work in us, training us, and disciplining us every step of the way. He was teaching us the ‘discipline’ of trusting him and counting on His faithfulness. He was teaching us to listen to his voice and obey in faith. When I say the words work and discipline these are what they were. It took a lot of work (heart work) and discipline to break old fears and patterns of unbelief. He was training us for a marathon and we were only in shape to jog a lap or two around the track.
Financial Crisis
When Charlie and Lashae went to Uganda the first time, we were in a desperate financial crisis of our own. The stories I could tell about God’s provision to get them on the trip were astounding. The only reason we agreed to let Lashae go and send Charlie to bring her back, was God had a very clear meeting with me in the laundry room one day. It was clear that this was God calling our daughter to this and who were we to stop her? Who were we to know better than the God who created her, what was best for her life?
Throughout the time of getting ready to go, God was providing and being faithful in every step. Every step was hard, and every step was strengthening our faith. We learned so much about God’s faithful provision and it was exhilarating and I wanted to be done with that part of the lesson once the trip was over. We did it and then I wanted to go back to running the track of faith that I knew and was comfortable with.
Charlie came home and said we were going to support Simon, and soon after we found out Simon had a younger brother, Patrick, I was overwhelmed, and not the joyful kind of overwhelmed. I didn’t ‘believe’ we could do this, and I was right…I didn’t BELIEVE and we couldn’t do anything in our own power. God was setting us up to help my ‘unbelief’ and teach us about His provision and His faithfulness, to us, and to people all over the world.
We could barely take care of our own children at home, and we began the process of adopting Esther, and I was soon to find out I was pregnant, let alone commit to two more boys that I had never even met. Overwhelmed is an understatement. I’m sad that my heart was so ugly and unbelieving, but this is where it was. When Charlie said I needed to send money it was hard to do at first. We didn’t have extra. It didn’t even feel like we had enough. We were not going hungry, but we were also in debt.
God did what God does and He provided for all of us to play our part in everything He was calling us to. We never saw it ahead of time, it was always ‘just in time.’ I wish I could say once I learned this lesson, I walk in it with grace and beauty and the truth of the matter is there are still times it still looks more like a wrestling match than a graceful walk.
God Is As Faithful As He Says
Just like Patrick wrote, God is as faithful as He says so. God is good. And by the grace of God, He always wins the wrestling match. We have experienced over twelve years of relationship and family ties with Simon and Patrick and their mother Natalia. These relationships didn’t happen easily, or in one day or one year. It took God showing us all how to do this and we are beyond thankful from all sides.
It hasn’t been easy or comfortable, but it has been good. It has been worth the discipline; learning to trust God and to give everything He tells us to, which is everything. I can’t imagine my life without these young men that call me Mom and call Charlie, Dad.
God is working in every person, and relationship, all over the world in every situation. Don’t miss what God has for you because of unbelief or fear. I could have missed this, and by God’s amazing grace, He didn’t let me.
