My childhood journey was not the normal ideal family setting one. I was not from the outcome of a married couple who were happy to receive their new baby. I was received by a hurting mother in the absence of a male companion . I didn’t know my real life story until I was the age of 23 years. These unbearable life circumstances set the journey for my childhood and my early youth stage. Years filled with misery , suffering and learning about life the hard way . There are so many things you miss out in your childhood life , which things turn out to be the most important aspects of your life .
Childhood and Suffering
In most cases, you will hear about these through stories that are told to you by those that were there in your early days. You would hold a photo and a lot of stories would come from that single photo. Children in Uganda – only place I know; all have a lot in their childhood and suffering is always the name given to many of the children in Uganda. Just like any Ugandan child from a poor upbringing, I didn’t know so much about my childhood apart from the stories I was told . There were no photos , letters to explain all this . Where would you get that in a society where time was told by the direction of the sun?
Patrick’s Childhood Story
My story doesn’t differ from the many stories of African children. I am an only child of a one woman who didn’t go to school. She was from a family that was very strict. My grandfather sent my mom away from home when he realized that she was pregnant and the pregnancy was to an unknown man. Most parents looked at woman as property and some parents didn’t allow their daughters to get married until they find a rich person who will support the girl’s family . Women didn’t dream, because you would be married off and dowry given to you in form of cows, clothes and local breweries. The dowry would be extra if the girl was a virgin . When my grandpa realized that my mom was pregnant , he saw no importance of keeping her at home and had to send her away. She was carrying an unplanned child, a mistake child. With no other place to go, mom had to go and look for his boyfriend and explain everything to him. Her boyfriend was a fisher man who lived at the banks of the Nile River. My mom and her parents were living in the northern part of Uganda and this was during the period of the LRA (Lord’s Resistance Army) Rebels. Mom had moved many kilometers before reaching his boyfriend’s house . Her main worry was that the boyfriend might refuse to take responsibility of the pregnancy. With no phone or any transport means , she had to walk the kilometers to where my dad lived.
Patrick’s Story and the LRA – Lord’s Resistance Army
During this time , the LRA rebels under their leader JOSEPH KONY had covered most parts of the northern Uganda. You cannot talk about northern Uganda and leave the name KONY. He was a rebel who did a lot of mass killing. He killed parents of young kids and made these kids young soldiers. At times , KONY would force kids to kill their own parents as a way of making them brave. Sometimes he could cut off their body parts: ears , mouth just to torture them for being rebellious to his commands. When a child refuses to kill his parents, the order would be given to someone and the rebellious child would be killed.
Avoiding The Rebels To Survive
With all this happening, mom has to move and navigate through forests and villages. She had to try by all means to avoid meeting with the rebels. She walked nights and days since there was little or no time for resting. The only source of food she had were raw mangoes and a plant that had salty leaves. When she reached her destination, she didn’t find her boyfriend, but was welcome by a neighbor, a woman who was above her age . The lady took her and made her rest under their grass thatched house as she waited for her boyfriend. When her boyfriend arrived at home, mom was taken inside and she explained all that had taken place at her dad’s place. Most men would run away from their responsibilities, fortunately , her boyfriend was okay with it, and took his responsibility of caring for the girlfriend. The two started cohabiting together as husband and wife. He was a very hard working man who would go fishing in the evening and early in the morning. He would set the nets in the evening and go check them in the morning. At times he would do digging for money. It must have been a time to prepare for the worst case scenario. Despite them living below the poverty line, the husband made sure his wife had the necessities of life. He would catch fish, sell some and then have some to be consumed at home. They would save the money under their mattress-which is a very common banking system in Africa.
The Father Never Returned
It was about the 9th month and the wife was about to give birth. The husband left home and never came back. He had left home like the usual days of going to do fishing and didn’t come back. Sometimes he would return late because he had to catch, set the nets and do selling of the fish in the neighborhood. This time he didn’t show up on his late time of getting home. His wife got very worried and trying finding out from the neighbors who claimed they had not seen him. It was until the next morning that the wife got to know that the husband had drown in the river. His body was found in water covered by water vegetables, near the river banks. The wife couldn’t believe this event that has showed up in her life.
Everything Seemed a Curse
Everything seemed a curse. She felt helpless, confused and unwanted by life. She was scared of everthing. She has just lost her family and now her husband, the only person that gave her hope, passed away. She has been sent home for having a pregnancy that would lead to a ‘Bastard child’. She would then become the mom and dad of the child. Many African children go through this. They end up suffering with there children, due to the death of their dad caused by HIV/AIDS, malaria or war. A few days after burial, she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and that boy turned out to be ME. The grandparents of either families had to give a surname to any newborn baby, but since my mom had none at that moment, she named me “TABULE” which meant “SUFFERING “ in her local language. Her baby and her had gone through a lot of suffering and wanted to remember that when she looked at him. . She loved me so much and would go with me at the back when she went digging or in the market. During these days, HIV/AIDs was on a high rate with less medication; many people have lost their lives, became orphans and homeless because of the disease. Mom fell sick when I was still young
God’s Love Through Pain
And it was later discovered that she had HIV/AIDs. She kept on battling with the disease for a couple of times until she died. These stories of her death are things I don’t share about. I embrace the pain in my heart and look at God’s love and faithfulness through this pain.
