Maezie Ann-Grace Brewer
13 years old
May 13, 2025
Ten days ago today the unimaginable happened. I was running and training for a half-marathon and I got hit by a car. This whole experience has been surreal, like it would be something you hear about, or something you see in a movie.
Asking God, Why Me?
It’s still hard for me to believe the seriousness of the situation. Everyday in the hospital felt like a nightmare, like it wasn’t supposed to happen to me. I found myself asking God, why me? The reason I say everyday felt like a nightmare is because it felt like my whole life was falling apart, like I was losing everything. I know I’ve been seriously injured but I guess it took me a long time to realize what that really meant.
The Saturday I got hit by a car, I had plans to be at church all weekend. Missing out on that even makes me sad still. Instead of being in my favorite place learning and telling others about the goodness of God, I was laying in a hospital bed questioning if God was even all that good if he decided to take all these things away from me. Things like running and track and even being able to do things on my own.
Once I was able to think, reflect and pray, I began to realize for the longest time I had been battling and doubting that I was valuable and worthy. It’s not because that’s how my surroundings made me feel, but because sometimes I get trapped in my head and thoughts, and sometimes they can drown me, and tune out God. I’ve been in a season where I’ve been praying for God to speak to me, because I’ve been in a stage of silence, and I was dying to hear from Him, and see Him move in my life!!
Frustrated
I had spent countless days being frustrated with God because I’ve always been able to openly communicate with God, and I’ve never really dealt with spiritual warfare that effects your whole life, but from being at an extremely strong, steady stage in my relationship with Jesus to constantly crying out to Him, “Why are you forsaking me, I’ve been faithful to you, don’t leave me to this pain and suffering!”
Even one of my best friends Jz’Elaky had told me she believed God had a reason behind all this even though, we couldn’t see it. But even though it felt like my whole world was crumbling, God was working.
I had always learned in church God sometimes takes things away from us in order for new things….better things to come along. I had always believed I understood this concept, but I struggled to relate to it, because I’d always lived by routine, and consistency. So when God decided to take away everything, I was lost and confused.
Struggling To See My Value
I don’t remember a lot of things from the hospital, but like I said earlier how I’d been struggling to see my value. God told me otherwise in that hospital. I slept a lot, but every time I woke up I was blessed to see someone I loved dearly. Being able to see all the people who came to see me helped me realize that God did not forsake me, and that I was valuable and precious. Though I’ve been told all that my whole life, I’m still human, and I fall short, but God never does, and I’m glad he showed me that.
Expectations
I’ve always had high expectations and standards for myself, and when my family and friends came to see me, and still loved me at my lowest, I was able to finally realize that my achievements and accomplishments were only a little thing in my life, they may seem huge to me, but they’re only as big as I make them.
My whole life, all my hobbies, my sports, my passions all now look a little different. I’m learning to be okay with it, but it takes time. I’ve always been the person who does it all and does it well, who’s strong and capable. Now that I struggle to even walk, I’m learning to be content, and I’m learning to adapt to all the things the Lord throws at me.
Even though I’m not sure what the Lord has in store for me, I’m okay with waiting on Him. I’m sure whatever He does it will be exactly what I need. So I guess you can say getting hit by a car is an answered prayer, and a blessing….well, it was for me.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (Romans 8:18)
