Do Moms Really Count?
I’ve been at this gig for awhile and so have some of you…but…we are never done. Once a mom…always a mom…it gets harder and more wonderful in a very different way. We are never done.
Do moms really count?
I mean we are counting all the time. Sometimes counting, just to count I think…we don’t even know the right answer…just counting kids, days, food, shoes, chicken nuggets…
JUST COUNTING TO COUNT. We want to count so we respond by counting. We even go as far as counting to three before we lose our minds. Not sure why three, but that’s the one we seem to make it to before…..
And let’s talk about Mom Math….we all know about big family math….one coffee shared with 3 plus sippy kids or 3 small sips per kid equals…no coffee for mom…so we “count” the cost. 1 coffee sipped on by 3 plus kids equals no coffee. 3 plus coffees bought so mom can have 1 coffee equals a lot of money which equals no money left for coffee…1 coffee for mom and 1 for kids to fight over equals no peace….never mind…no coffee no money no peace.
Another Mom Math. More numbers to count.
Lashae for example. One plus one equals 1 or 3
One plus one equals 1 more or 2 kids or 4 all together
One plus one equals 1 or 3 kids or 5 total
One plus one equals 2 (twins)or 5 kids or 7 total.
Mom Math
Mom Math is hard. Super confusing We can’t even begin to talk about foster and adopted families….
1 + 5 -2+ 25 = 99 and probably 100 million …..
Mom math is hard….but moms do hard things.
We know how to make room, we know how to stretch. Even the way our bodies are designed…we just make room for whatever and whoever God brings our way.
If you have carried a child in your body or your heart or both….you have done really hard and wonderful things, and you have made room…room in your heart and in your body, on your lap, in your car, room in your house, in your schedule, and around your table. Making room and counting is a natural mom response. You count A LOT. You can count on that.
Psalm 127
Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
2 It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Tonight we are going to talk about the fact that we not only count….WE COUNT a lot! Not just in our heads or the little heads of our people but we count (to God) and there are a lot of people counting on us; that is a blessing, and an honor, not a weight or a burden, even though it can feel really heavy at times. Remember, we are moms and we do hard things.
Let’s start with doing something really hard….lets introduce ourselves, and NOT give mom stats. No numbers…no counting just us, here as moms. Who are YOU?
Introduce yourselves..we aren’t going to talk about our kids tonight, we are focusing on One…one on one with Jesus and we will leave knowing that WE count to the One and only and if we already know that he counts us…that we are the ONE He counts., we will get a great refresher on WHO we can count on.
Introduce YOURSELF…tell us something about YOU!!!…and give your greatest mom tag line. And a small explanation of when and how you use it.
My name is Jenay, I like to run and my tag line: We are all tired!!!
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What is Your Mom Tag Line
Look around….did you hear what the mom’s said…who they are and what they said. not to compare, but to notice….everyone is different, and everyone has a different “voice” , a different “tag line” , a different way of saying something unique and creative to express themselves.
This is how God wired us. Differently, He put each of our families together creatively, looking and sounding different.
When we ask if Moms really count, we are actually asking if moms have a voice.
Do we count? Do we have a voice?
If you have been a mom for 5 minutes or less….you will testify…our greatest joys and heartaches come from motherhood. It gets us in our heart, soul and body, emotions…there is nothing like motherhood to bring out the best and worst of us.
Does anyone hear or need to hear what a mom has to say?
Here’s the TRUTH: As moms We have influence with our God and with our family. First of all God cares for US….we are His daughters. Way before we became moms, we were His children. Even after we became mothers, we remained His children. He made us with a voice, to have a relationship with Him, to communicate with him, even before we used words. We could express ourselves with sounds of crying, and God and our mothers knew what we needed by the sound of our voice.
Here’s the Lie: One of Satan’s biggest lies is we have no voice, or when we do speak up…it’s wrong, we don’t matter, we don’t count, and we say stupid stuff.
The Enemy will question what we heard and what we said…Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.
He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” The enemy loves to make us question what God said.
Then we go to Gen. 16:2 And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.
The problem was in this instance Sarai was not speaking with a voice of surrender or fearing God, she was speaking with a voice that was fearing failure and disappointment, not trusting God.
Speaking in fear, is trying to control, and it doesn’t last and wears us out. Speaking in faith is freedom and takes courage.
Hear me! We MOMMAS have a voice, and most of us are pretty loud, even if we don’t yell. Sometimes our quietness is deafening.
A voice surrendered to Jesus is bold and courageous, gentle, kind and wise.
Moms Who Fear The Lord
We have influence that can be dangerous if it is not submitted to God. The beginning of wisdom is fear of the Lord. As women, we have influence with the Lord and with our people. We want to be wise and it starts with fear of the Lord. Throughout the Bible it talks about fear of the Lord.
Psalm 111:10
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!
Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 9:10
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
Proverbs 15:33
The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.
Switching gears from the Bible to google. We are moms and we do hard things.
According to google…we make upwards of 35,000 decisions a day….I don’t know about you, but I struggle with deciding what is for dinner 300 of the 365 days a year, let alone 35,000 decisions a day. I need the Spirit for the little things and the big life mother of decisions.
Let me tell you a story that we have all heard that I hope you hear a different way….keeping in mind, we have influence with Jesus and the people around us…and in our mother situation….there’s a lot of little people around us.
John 2:1-5 On the third day there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples. 3 When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” 4 And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” 5 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”
And we know the story….Jesus turns water into wine.
Jesus comes to save the world. To heal people. To give power to His followers. The first miracle he does…is basically because His mom said so. His mother makes a request and then she says….to the servants….Do whatever He tells you. Her faith in Him put everyone to action and caused a miracle that made his disciples believe in him. That is a powerful mom voice.
Mom Voice
Do moms even count? Do they have a voice?
I would say, Jesus says yes they do. Jesus…God in the flesh…listened to his mother and he listens to you.
We can’t talk about mothers if we don’t talk about the idol of motherhood. Whether we think we are amazing at it , or we think we are failing miserably, we are thinking about ourselves. We are the topic of thought, and this can lead to idolatry.
I know I said tonight was about us…but it’s about us getting our identity right. For many of us, our identity is a wife and a mother that’s what brought us all together. It’s a beautiful identity, but it’s not complete. If Jesus isn’t our main identity….we will easily make motherhood our idol. Ourselves, our husbands, and our children make terrible gods. We will be disappointed and nobody can handle that kind of pressure. When our identity is wrapped up in Christ Alone…we can accept this motherhood assignment with joy and purpose and not base our identity and our worth in how we are doing or how our kids are turning out.
Motherhood Idolatry
Not IF….but where there is motherhood idolatry, let us just repent…every time…as soon as we see it….which just means turn from our own ways…going from our own direction to following Jesus, going and doing things, including motherhood, his way, the way He has mapped out in His word. Listen to the Spirit when he takes you into trials or takes you to mountaintops…listen…trust what you hear Him saying, in His word and in that still small voice.
When we feel frantic and act in a panic….that is not the Spirit….he is never in a panic.
2 Corinthians 3:16 But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord,[ are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
Think of a bride…when the groom pulls the veil from in front of her face he is free to see her and kiss her. Envision when you are not facing Jesus, and walking your own way….you are standing alone, veiled and hidden and turned away from the one who makes you glow and sees you as beautiful. Face to face with Jesus, and going towards Him gives us freedom.
Do mom’s really even count?
Counting Commandments
Now we are going to count on the commandments…the first 4 commandments are about our relationship with God. The next 6 commandments have to do with our relationship with one another. That would include our spouse and children and neighbors and friends. The first commandment to deal with our relationships with one another is Exodus 20: 12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”
The first commandment to deal with others…comes even before, do not murder, and it is to honor your father and mother. Then it has a promise to go with it…honor your father and mother THAT your days will be long in the land which the Lord YOUR God is giving you. If you don’t honor your parents the Lord is not YOUR God. He is God….nothing we do or don’t do changes that….but honoring your parents is the first relationship you experience as a child, to know and understand that it was God who ordained that….is humbling.
What Does Honoring Our Parents Mean
What does it mean to honor your father and mother? This honestly has very little, maybe even nothing to do with your parents. It’s a heart posture….A heart surrendered to God’s plan will always honor your father and mother whether they are amazing or completely abusive. Honoring your father and mother is trusting God with what he is doing and who he is doing it thru. If we do not honor our parents, we are accusing God of not doing right by us. Honoring our parents is saying…..God’s plan may have been hard on me or it may have set me up for life…but it was His plan all along.
I think one of the biggest ways to honor our parents is to forgive them. Every parent EVERY SINGLE parent has made mistakes…some bigger and more damaging than others. But the call to forgive is for everyone. Jesus came to forgive, heal and give us power…..21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld.”
Forgiveness does not hinge on asking….Jesus …he died for our sin and rose from the grave and ascended to heaven before we asked for anything.
We must forgive others…starting with our father and mother….before they even ask. It is to free us….not them. Jesus came to forgive them too….He is in charge of keeping track of them, we are called to walk in the forgiveness Jesus provided; not deciding who is worthy and who isn’t.
Forgiveness is the biggest deal in our lives. We need it and we need to give it.
Forgive Parents, Yours and Yourself
Forgive your parents, and forgive yourself as a parent. It frees everyone.
I know as moms we want power….not control, (that’s the world’s way)but power…Holy Spirit POWER!!! Power to walk in the Spirit. Moms love to power walk. Have you ever seen a mom getting across Costco parking lot in the dead of winter in Montana…that’s some serious power walking. As moms, we must power walk in the calling and assignment God has for us.
Parenting in fear, is control and it doesn’t last and it wears us out. Parenting in faith looks like power…power to parent in the Spirit…and the fruit of that is; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control.
Pray Like a Mother
When Jesus was here….his disciples did not ask how to preach…they asked how to pray. Why? They realized this was where He got power and peace to live out His calling.
Pray!!!! Pray like a mother that knows and loves Jesus. Open your mouth and He will fill it. Sit silently with Him and He will speak. Use the voice and influence He gave to count your blessings. Keep counting Mommas! You count a lot to the ONE who counted you!
