Taking a glance back is the best way to see forward. When you remember what God has done, you know the future is bright and full of hope. Five years ago we moved to Billings, Montana. We limped in with a Uhaul loaded with stuff and a suburban full of people. We chose to make the move, and knew it would be a tough transition but we had a lot, mainly our kids and grands, drawing us to Montana.
Broken Hearts
We also had very broken hearts as we left the place we knew our whole lives together. Our broken hearts weren’t just about leaving, but also moving us forward. We had been through some tough years, not days, or months but years. We were ready for a fresh start.
Moving away from the people that we loved, and the people that knew us, and loved us anyway, was hard. Packing up and moving towards our older kids and grands was a gift that came with challenges.
Moved
There is no way to ever replace the relationships we moved away from, nor would you ever want to. We had history there. We raised kids there, worked together, celebrated graduations and marriages. We celebrated births and birthdays all year long. We did Bible studies, runs and relays, rodeos, fair, vacations, and sports, all the time, all together.
When we left, we were sad and excited for the new chapter.
When I say we were broken, I mean broke, and not just the checkbook. Our hearts were broken too.
Diving In Deep
Our broken hearts were mostly from disappointment. We had dove into the deep end, in a few areas ranging from business to church. As it turned out, some of the water wasn’t deep at all, it was actually shallow. The wave had rolled back and we dove at the wrong time and suffered some serious injury.
Looking back, we learned valuable lessons. Brokenness can teach you a lot about yourself and a lot about God. He taught us about His faithfulness and we learned how desperate we were for Him, it changed our lives forever. We learned grace, not just that we needed it from God, but we needed to give it, in all areas to all people.
Stress Fractures
Our family was split for a while, a year and a half to be exact. We were still very much together, and very much apart. It was tough and healing all at the same time. The thing about making a big move when you are already full of stress fractures is you are more vulnerable and moving can hurt, but also you heal stronger.
We have said so many times, to this very day, how thankful we are that we made the move. Our relationships are stronger here and there. We learned a lot of grace because we needed it the most. We can look back and see God establishing our steps, even though, for a while there it felt like we were flapping in the wind.
God Restores
We are watching as God slowly restores all that was lost and repairs all that was broken. It takes time and it takes waiting on Him.
Our pastor taught on the parable of the soils this Sunday. He talked about the hard soil as the one that was traveled on a lot and had gotten packed down. When we keep traveling along the same path, day after day and year after year, our soul can get hard and packed down. I thought of our move in another way when I heard this described like this. The move tilled up our hard soil. Our steps were established by God, but sometimes traveling on fresh tilled up dirt, makes you slow down and pay attention, not just hit cruise control. It can be quite bumpy and really slow but the soil is fresh and can grow new things.
Moving is the answer to nothing; God is the answer to everything. We had to trust God for bringing our family back together, to the same state, and to learn how to be courageous and dive again.
Moving Closer
We moved to be closer to kids and grand kids and we moved closer to God in the process. He isn’t anymore here in Montana than he is in Oregon, even though I think some people believe that. He is in the broken hearts. That’s where we move closer.
Things aren’t perfect, and we miss some of our friends and family so bad our hearts hurt. At the same time, we have developed some beautiful relationships with some amazing people that will forever be friends and family. If we wouldn’t have moved, waited and endured some challenges, we would have missed it. Even knowing this was the right move doesn’t mean there aren’t tough areas here too. No matter where humans live, and we are very human, there is good and tough times, all happening at the same time, most often.
History Is Important
We miss feeling like we know some history; being apart of people’s history, and being known forever.
But now we have five years of history here. If we had the choice to do it all over again, we wouldn’t miss a beat, we wouldn’t change one day. I pray we always move towards God. I pray we move closer to Him wherever we go and however long we stay.
I believe traveling on tilled up ground, ground that is new territory can be bumpy and slow, but in the end, we grow stronger.
Goodness and Faithfulness
I hesitated to share this post because I don’t want to sound sad or neglected. We are doing quite well, and that is the beauty of having five years to reflect on. It gives a bigger picture that I couldn’t see five years ago.
God is good to us everywhere we go. That is the God we serve.
We can’t exactly watch growth happen, but if we look back we can see how much we have grown.
Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
as long as I live. (Psalm 23:6)
